I can't believe it's almost been a year since I've posted anything. Not that I have droves of followers hanging on my every word. It's the closest I'll get to journaling...cuz who likes writers cramp anyway? Besides, I'm so uptight I'd probably have to write multiple drafts because the handwriting would be all wrong (true story - I've done it before). To be perfectly honest, I'm terrified that I'll forget all of the great, wonderful, amazing, normal and boring things about my pregnancy, birth, and little baby. She is growing so fast! My little chickadee is already 7 months old!
I HAVE A BABY!
A real...
...live baby
I will never take that for granted
Some might say I'm biased, but I think I've hit the baby jackpot.
As they say...the proof is in the pudding...
The world might end today, so here are some throwbacks... some things I want to remember.
February 2012
We took our last trip as a childless couple...a babymoon...to Kauai. It was amazing. I discovered I had developed cankles on the flight, and made sure to get a crazy bad sunburn the first day. Sunburned and pregnant makes for some awful sleep...especially once it hit the itchy phase. We stayed with Ryan's cousin Luna and her two daughters. Luna makes and sells seasoned roasted macadamia nuts and juices (passion fruit was my favorite) at the farmers markets. We were so spoiled.
We hiked the Hanakapi'ai trail to the falls. 8 miles of slippery, muddy and steep terrain...sunburned and nearly 7 months pregnant. I just want to remember that. I was so sore I could barely walk.
The next few days we took it easy and snorkeled (almost got pulled out to sea by a rip current), lounged on the beach, collected shells, ate shaved ice and went whale watching. It. Was. Incredible. We went with the only company that would allow pregnant women on board. Usually the water is very choppy in February, but luck was on our side and the water was smooth as glass. We could see everything, the water was crystal clear. It was calving season and saw dozens of cows with their calves. I can't believe how close some of them came to the boat. We saw dozens more breaching, nearly leaping entirely out of the water. But I was giddiest when we encountered a large pod of bottle nose and spinner dolphins. I can't describe how cool it was to watch them surf at the bow of the boat and spin through the air.
We did a bit more hiking (much shorter and gentler) before we returned home. It was very hard to come home.
This post is old...I hoped to edit the video below so it would be shorter and include Ryan's music, but let's face it. I'm lazy.
Update on me: Things are much better emotionally and mentally. I've been going to a therapist and have consulted with a psychiatrist as well as several friends that had been on antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds while pregnant (healthy, normal kids), and have decided to start taking my meds again at half the dose. Talking to my friends put me more at ease than anything else, especially since one friend was on a higher dose than me. So far so good. My mood is definitely better and I have more motivation to do things. Hooray. I'm still saying prayers and crossing my fingers that baby Darton arrives unscathed through all of this.
Mini update on life: Mid January, Ryan and I headed back to Utah to visit family since we didn't have the chance to over the holidays. It also gave us a chance to meet my brothers new little girl Livia (2 weeks), and Ryan's brothers new little boy Bentley (2 days). It was baby mania! Our trip was quite hectic with all of the friends and family time we were trying to pack in, especially since my bother Dan and his family are moving to Russia for a few years. On top of all of this my step-father had a nasty fall that fractured his skull (spiderweb fracture) with coup contra coup injury and 5 different bleeds. Pretty damn scary. He was in the ICU for a few days before being transferred to the floor. He is slowly recovering, but has double vision and severe nausea that requires a him to have a feeding tube. It's the waiting game to see if this will also resolve.
Update on Baby Darton: We got an early ultrasound while we were in Utah so we could celebrate with family.
It's a GIRL!!!
It was so much fun to watch her suck on her little fingers. She was so modest during the ultrasound. She kept crossing her legs and when the tech went to look from a different angle she put her tiny hands down in attempt to cover herself up. I hope she stays this way...I would much rather have a prude for a daughter than a ....
All this time Ryan has been referring to her as a boy. I hope he has time to adjust and is as excited for this little Dragon Princess as he was for a Dragon Prince. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous to have a girl too. My theory is that boys are harder on the front end, and girls are harder on the back end...you know once they hit 9-ish. That seems to be the age when little girls start to get mean, manipulative and self conscious. I'm already so protective of her, and don't want her to get hurt. I suppose I have nearly a decade to prepare. I hope I do things right.
Now that we know we are having a girl reality is sinking in. Oh boy. I mean...girl. I have an organizational nightmare ahead of me. To be honest, our apartment is pretty large by L.A. standards, but Ryan has had the luxury of having an office/music room all to himself. I've had the luxury of not having his things in my way. That's all going to change...somehow.
I guess I've started nesting. It sounds like a lot of people like this stage, but I'm on the fence about it. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a cheapskate. I like bargains. It's physically hard for me to make big purchases without feeling sick about it. So, in my head as I start looking at the things we need to get, all I hear is an old-timey cash register dinging in my head. I also don't like feeling rushed to make a purchase. I know I have 4 more months (who am I kidding? I have longer than that before she will need a room to herself) to get all of this done, but I still feel rushed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE looking at all of the baby room ideas on the world wide web, but I also feel overwhelmed by the task of making the room, making the purchases and putting it all together. I don't like living in work zones...I've done it for a large portion of my life and I'm tired of it. I would love to be able to afford to hire someone to do it all for me....and much faster too...one day....
Purchases so far: Mid-century dresser with end tables, and kimono style newborn dress from Chinatown during the Chinese New Year celebrations.
