Snap!

I have a Honda Civic. If you know anything about Civics, you know they have the highest rate of theft and break-ins. I can attest to that. My poor Civic was broken into yet again, upping the current tally to 4 or 5 times. I'm starting to lose track.

Twice I've had my stereo brutally ripped from the warm womb of my dash.

Twice, possibly thrice; they (the burglars) have been skilled enough to shimmy the door open without causing too much damage and without breaking any windows. They have even been so kind as to leave the heat/AC part of my dash intact so I wouldn't freeze/melt my butt off.

Once, they (the robbers) broke in and didn't notice my brand new black iPod sitting on my seat but took Ryan's ancient 1st generation iPod instead. They also took the time to take all of the change out of the cup holder...a whopping $1.37 or so.

4 or 5 times, they (the crooks) took chargers and other cords and wires for phones, iPods, etc.

Twice, they (the thieves) must have been amateurs because they broke my driver's side window when it is painfully obvious that my car has been broken into before and is and easy to break into because of the previous 2 or 3 break-ins. One of those times it was 1 week before my wedding and they stole my purse out of my trunk. This made things even more stressful since I was making last minute wedding plans without a phone or any of my contacts, not having any credit/debit cards to make last minute purchases (accounts were frozen until my new cards arrived), and having to fix a broken window right when most business were closed for Christmas and New Years.

This last time, they (the jerks) broke my window and searched solely for my face plate in order to steal my stereo; bypassing the skis, snowboard and gear in the back seat, $400 Arctryx ski jacket, and my wedding ring in the glove box. Alas! I out smarted them, and took it inside with me. Although I am pissed that I had to deal with a broken window while visiting Utah for the weekend, I am glad they didn't take any of the other stuff.

Needless to say, I've had a lot of opportunities to fantasize about revenge on these hoodlums. I told my brother John about some of my ideas on our way home from the auto glass shop. We started to collaborate and here is what we came up with.

Scenario 1: Shotgun to the face. Set it up to blast them in the face when they broke into the car.

John said that it was too gruesome and obviously deadly. It wouldn't be very fun to see when walking to your car in the morning. I conceded. It's not worth spending jail time for some hood rat.

Scenario 2: A bear trap. When the jerk breaks the window and reaches in to unlock the door, he would trigger a bear trap that snaps his arm. The bear trap would be too big to fit through the window and he wouldn't be able pry open the steal trap without special tools. Not to mention it would be much too difficult in his disabled state. He would wait there until morning in agony, caught in the act.

John laughed at this and suggested putting in a laugh track that mocked the would be robber as he waited in pain.

Scenario 3: Rattlesnake in the glove box. All thieves open the glove box. What a wonderful surprise to find an angry and venomous rattlesnake ready to strike.

Scenario 3 variations: Rabid raccoon/wolverine/pit bull in the car. Any rabid animal that won't let go of the crook.

John pointed out that all of these scenarios would pose a danger to myself, especially if I were to get in a car accident with a bear trap. I would need one that could be disabled when a key is used to enter the car. He offered this:

Scenario 4: Electrocution/police taser when touching the stereo. When the burglar breaks in and attempts to remove the stereo he would be electrocuted/tasered into unconsciousness. The door or parameter of the car would also be electrified, making it impossible for him to leave the car...thus trapping him until his arrest.

Scenario 5: Tar and feathered. My car would be installed with tiny nozzles that would spray hot tar on the robber when he entered the car. After a quick spray the airbag would deploy a cloud of feathers. Voila! Tarred and feathered.

John then asked me..."Why don't you just get an alarm?"

Probably because I was always too poor and but more likely because I've been too lazy.

Besides, I like the bear trap idea.

Adams Family

Last weekend Ryan and I made the long drive back to Utah to watch one of my best friends marry one of his best friends. It was well worth the drive. It makes me happy that such fantastic people found each other and now Ryan and I have the assurance that they will be in our lives forever because of combined friend forces will make it hard to lose contact. Joy. Congratulations Kristina and Jeff!

Be Mine.

I've never been very big on Valentine's Day. Or any holiday where I feel obligated to exchange gifts. I have a theory that gifts giving should be "just because" and should be year round...if the spirit moves you. I have found myself many times in stores looking at the "perfect" gift for someone, but not having a reason to buy it for them because it is August 2nd and Christmas is too far away, but their birthday was 2 months ago. To hell with it! I'm gonna buy it for them anyway! I am thinking about this person right now and I want to let them know that I care about them. Sadly, I don't follow through with it very often. Mainly because I'm worried my friends would think I'm weird. Ryan already knows I'm weird so....

A few weeks ago I surprised Ryan with this:


And this:


Kid Theodore has plans to record a new album soon and all of the other band mates recently upgraded to fancy new guitars, but poor Ryan was stuck with his old bass. Concerned that it would throw off the sound quality while recording, Ryan couldn't stop talking about buying a new bass and bass cab (whatever that is). The Jaguar Bass to be specific. I had been picking up extra shifts at the hospital to surprise him, and was waiting for my next paycheck, but Ryan was hell bent on ruining the surprise. He had plans to scrape together the money by selling everything he didn't absolutely need. Ryan's friend Jeff gave us a deal on a bass cab he had and shipped it to us in a few short days. I'm starting to earn the title of "Best Wife Ever".

In return Ryan took me to Katsu-ya last night and told me that I could order anything/as much as I wanted. Yay! Then he bought me this:

Oh joy! We've been sleeping on a dingy 20+ year old mattress of some unknown origin. It sags terribly and I can only sleep comfortably on one side. I've had lower back pain for years and I'm hoping that the above mattress will help relieve this in conjunction with my chiropractic visits and yoga. It's something I would have a very hard time buying for myself (it's hard to justify the price), but probably need.

I love Love.

Upgrade

It seems I've been upgrading a lot lately. This is a good thing.

When we were preparing to move to L. A. we knew I would be earning quite a bit more, but we also knew rent would be outrageous for something decent. What we didn't realize was how much taxes and insurance would take out of my paycheck. I wasn't taking home as much as we had anticipated. Ryan had found a job working for pennies (seriously) at a bike shop in Manhattan Beach with an occasional side job selling window coverings. Our place was cute. It was a charming 1940's two bedroom apartment with hardwood floors, crown molding, lots of windows, loads of storage, and a big, beautiful tile kitchen located in West L.A./West Hollywood.



It even had an avocado tree in the back with an area for grow boxes. We lived 2 blocks away from Little Ethiopia (some of my favorite food), the Le Brea Tar Pits, and Museum Row where you can get in free after 5. But, to be honest, it was miserable. Money was so tight we couldn't do anything fun. Ryan was so busy driving back and forth between work and band practice that he never had time to actually work creatively on music. Plus, I had to deal with the occasional cockroach (I have a phobia), not to mention we lived a stone's throw away from a hospital where sirens blared at all hours of the day and night. What do you do you when you have 8 months left on your lease? I felt trapped. Land locked. I was withering away sounds dramatic, but I honestly felt that way. Too much noise. Too much cement. Too much smog.

When I was younger I had two visions of myself when I was older. I could never decide which was one was the "real me". One vision was of me living in a major metropolitan city like New York, Chicago, or even L.A., living in a high rise apartment with ultra modern and sleek furniture and abstract paintings on the walls. I would wear fashionable but severe designer clothing and work for a top design firm.


The other vision was of me living out in the country in an old farm house on a few acres of my own. I would have a couple of horses, a milk cow, chickens, goats, sheep, geese, and beehives. I would grow my own organic food, churn my own butter, make cheese, and bottle the abundance of summer for the winter months. I would sew and quilt and paint. I would be outside. I would breathe fresh air. I would be amazed by beauty every day. I would love to do what this woman does. Take some time and check out the site. It's pretty extensive. I really want to stay at her Bed & Breakfast.


Living in that charming 1940's apartment just outside the beating heart of the city has taught me that I am the farm girl more than the city girl.

Time for an upgrade.

I didn't exactly upgrade to an old farm house in the country, but it was a step in the right direction...even if it was an itsy, bitsy, baby step. Bekah put me in touch with an apartment manager, Beth, in her ward. The company Beth worked for needed another apartment manager at one of their properties in Valley Village. Ryan and I interviewed and Ryan got the job. He quit his job at the bike shop and we packed our things, broke our lease and moved a few days later. Although the apartment complex isn't as "cool" as our place in West L.A., it is cozier. It feels more like a home. It has carpet. I never thought I would want carpet, but I actually like it. I can do sit-ups (not that I ever do), without breaking my back. I can walk barefoot with out my feet turning black. Although there isn't a space to have a grow box, I have a balcony that I put my herb pots on. There are more trees and single family homes around and I don't hear sirens all night. The streets are wider and more open. It feels more like downtown Salt Lake/9th and 9th area than L.A. We even have a pool to swim in.

Upgrade.

Within a week of moving into our new place I felt less stressed, happier and more peaceful. We can actually ride our bikes without fearing for our lives, and we are within riding distance of Griffith Park or Balboa Park for a longer rides.

Upgrade.

Since Ryan is managing the 30 or so apartments we get rent and utilities free in addition to a $250 stipend. This essentially is the equivalent of Ryan making more than triple the amount he did at the bike shop. We can actually have a little fun now... like going to Six Flags Magic Mountain for our 1st anniversary...and start paying off my school loans.

Another upgrade.

(There should be a video here but it wouldn't load...help?)

By the way, I recommend taking ibuprofen with you to Six Flags. Ryan's phone fell out of his pocket on one of the rides and it was most likely smashed to smithereens. As a result we bought him the fancy new google phone...MyTouch.

Upgrade.

Because he works from home, Ryan has more time to work creatively on music and is only a few blocks from band practice. Before he left the bike shop we bought Ryan a road bike on a pro-deal. It's a pretty sweet ride. Now he has time to road bike with me.


I consider that an upgrade.

I might start to like it here. Ryan's making out pretty well with this change too.

Blaahg

Oh man. I don't know how well this blog thing is going for me. I feel like I have a hard time writing authentically because I know I have an audience. It was the same way with keeping a journal. I always thought about my kids/grandkids reading it so, things became a little forced. I feel pressure to be witty, clever, etc. I can do this in person, but I have a hard time translating it into writing I analyze too much, but if you know me...you already know this. 'nuff said.


About a month ago my sister and her family came to visit and we went to Disneyland, and I might have had more fun than the kids did. It was much more crowded than we expected, but we were able to capitalize on having 3 adults and fast-passes and packed the day full of rides and met loads of characters. I was never a "Disney" kid growing up...in fact I thought I was "too cool for Disney." But a strange thing happened and I found myself mesmerized when I stood face to face with the Mad Hatter, Alice, Queen of Hearts, and the Evil Queen from Snow White. Since it was October, Disneyland was showcasing their villains. I loved it. I think everyone has a sort of fondness for dark things. Why else would we love dressing up as witches and skeletons and tell ghost stories?


But my favorite part of Disneyland? Bonding with this kid....


I don't get to see him much and I doubt he even remembered who I was, but we became fast friends. I love my niece and nephews and I pretty much arrange my holidays around them.

Forever Young

My sister Erin emailed me two poems that my niece Sophie wrote the other day. She just barely turned 9. I don't think I even knew what a poem was when I was 9 and I think my first attempt at one in 4th grade English had something to do with a paper cutter being like a tiger. In fact, I think it was a haiku. Paltry compared to her verse.

But Sophie isn't like other little girls. She doesn't like loads of girly stuff or what ever the Disney Channel is slinging. At 4.5yrs she loved dinosaurs. I took her to the Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur museum where she shocked me by looking at the skeletons of these huge lizards and listing off their names: Dimetrodon, Iguanodon, and Archeopteryx. Did I mention she was only 4.5? I looked for the name plates to make sure she was right and thought she might be able to visually associate the name (she couldn't possibly be able to read dinosaur names at under 5yrs could she?) with the dinosaur. The name plates were on the far end of the exhibit...too far for anyone to read. This tyke knew her stuff. She got all of them right. I was even more impressed because these weren't your run of the mill dinosaurs like the Triceratops, T-Rex or even the Stegosaurus.

At this time she also loved ghost stories and preferred to have them as her bed-time stories. Of course they were never too scary, but spooky enough for a 4.5 year old. I was surprised by her requests.

A few months later my sister told me a story about how they had been driving to their local Rec Center when Sophie (now 5) recited a poem that she had written.

I died for what I had not known
I didn't see the girl coming to squash me
I am dead
I am dead
I am dead

At first Erin didn't believe her and asked her if she learned it in school (Halloween was coming up) or heard it somewhere else. But Sophie explained that the poem was about a fly that she had squashed in the car. She also explained that when you said "I am dead" it got quieter each time. Huh? What? Since when do 5 year-olds use that type of syntax? I don't even know what to call that type of sentence structure. So you see, Sophies' creativity started early.

The following summer Sophie composed a song. Again, Erin didn't quite believe that Sophie created it on her own, but she did. I don't remember all of the lyrics but it is sung with harmony and has depth. My sister took her to a Cowboy Poetry reading where she mustered up the courage to stand in front of seasoned poets and weathered cowboys to shyly sing her song.

Going back to her most recent poems. I called Erin almost immediately after I read them and asked for the story. Once again, Erin was a little skeptical on if Sophie had really written them. Poor girl, can't catch a break. When Erin asked about the "copper witches", Sophie told her casually that she just thought it sounded good, not recognizing the symbolism (pennies) that they have and how they make her fall to her knees. As far as a "lopper"? Well, she just made that word up because she liked it. When asked what it means, she replied, "it's kind of like a loser." Erin asked if they should change it to say "loser," but Sophie thinks "lopper" sounds better. So do I.

This girl is brilliant.

I didn't post her poems...yet...because I want her to get them published and I don't know if blogging them would interfere with her chances. Any suggestions?

Lake verNON

Ryan and I went backpacking in Yosemite last weekend. We were planning on a 5-6 day trip, but a friend and a huge Kid Theodore supporter, Kathy Carpenter, passed away unexpectedly and her funeral was on Monday. Our trip was shortened to 3 days. The first day we (Ryan) spent driving (I slept a majority of the time, having finished a string of shifts at the hospital). We stopped at a kitschy but admittedly cool road-side farm/market/fruit stand and had BBQ'd tri-tip sandwiches, fed the chickens, and pet the rabbits and goats. They had wine and cheese tasting (we only tasted the cheese), artisan foods and loads of stuff for hipsters to Quilted Bear homemakers to rednecks alike.

Hetch Hetchy Reservoir

Unfortunately, we ended up having to back track an hour or two after missing our turn-off. We arrived late at Hetch Hetchy and slept under the stars at the backpackers campground at the trail head instead of hiking to Laurel Lake. We got an early start, bypassing Laurel Lake and headed straight to Lake Vernon. I speak for both of us when I say we soon found out we are out of shape (although round is a shape). The hike was a mere 10-ish miles in, which should have been a piece of cake considering my past hiking adventures. Granted the first half of the trail is a series of steep switchbacks, it felt like a struggle most of the way. It was also unseasonably hot. I deserve to have another excuse right? We didn't reach camp until 4pm (we hiked an extra 2 miles to see the winter trail shelter).




Face flies galore. Can you see them all? That's only half of them.



We passed on setting up the tent and slept under the stars again. I would ditch tents altogether, but storms and rumors of storms keeps me from doing it. I would take my bivy, but that would leave Ryan to fend for himself if it rained. It would be nice to get another one so we could minimize pack weight and have back-up in case the weather is foul. I miss my day's at REI when I could actually afford all of the new fandangled gear through pro-deals.


Since we lost a day driving and we had a funeral to attend, we packed up and hiked back out the very next morning. We made good time (downhill) and covered the distance in 4 hours.

We took the scenic route home and drove through Yosemite Valley and visited Bridalveil Falls, Fern Spring, and Glacier Point. We'll definitely be back for more. Hopefully in better shape and have more time.

Sore and blistered, Ryan couldn't jump very high

We drank straight from this spring... I hope we don't die.