Yay! I'm past my first trimester. I guess I can officially let the cat out of the bag...I'm pregnant! ;)
Tuesday I had another ultrasound. I was nervous and excited, and it ended up being wonderful and amazing.
I was in awe, how in a few short weeks our child went from looking like some sort of alien puppy thing, to an actual baby with an adorable little profile. I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I saw the baby yawn (or take a drink of amniotic fluid). I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with this little peanut. I wish I could watch him/her every day. I can't wait until our next ultrasound at 17 weeks!
Things have been rough for me mentally and emotionally since I am not taking my anti-anxiety/anti-depressants while I'm pregnant. I feel myself slipping deeper and deeper and it gets harder and harder to find ways to cope, or even remain aware of what the situation really is. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning. I don't like feeling this way, and I start to worry that the chemical imbalance within my body/brain are negatively affecting my growing child. How does depression and anxiety affect a growing fetus? These thoughts then lead to thoughts of whether I'll be able to stay off of meds long enough to breastfeed for a decent amount of time...and if I can't does that mean I have failed? If I don't get a handle on my mental and emotional health quickly after the birth I worry that I will end up being a total train wreck. I'm scared I won't be able to cope with the stress of being a new mom, even though I have been wanting this since I can remember. I don't want to mess this kid up. I don't want to give it any of my baggage...only love and happiness.
Watching the video of our last ultrasound reminds me that despite all of the fear and stress, this little bean is worth it. My heart melts every time I see that profile.
Showing posts with label beginning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beginning. Show all posts
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Heartbeats
I was so nervous for our first ultrasound. Worried that we would receive the same news as last time. But this time it was only good news!
Our little blueberry has a heartbeat and is actually growing! Ryan insists it's a boy. I honestly don't have any impressions either way, but the more he refers to the blueberry as a boy the more I become convinced it is too. Only time will tell!
Typically I would go in for another ultrasound at week 8 if I had conceived through fertility treatments. Dr. K said I could go ahead and do this if I want to. I'm tempted, but I want to treat this as a normal, healthy pregnancy, which means waiting until week 12 to get another ultrasound. I hope I can hold out and keep my anxiety and my "need to know" at bay.
Until then I can revel in the other confirmations of pregnancy that things are progressing normally: the morning/afternoon/evening sickness, the total exhaustion, the thirst. My boobies are getting slightly bigger, but they are not sensitive yet. I think I'd be okay with it if they don't ever get tender.
Our little blueberry has a heartbeat and is actually growing! Ryan insists it's a boy. I honestly don't have any impressions either way, but the more he refers to the blueberry as a boy the more I become convinced it is too. Only time will tell!Typically I would go in for another ultrasound at week 8 if I had conceived through fertility treatments. Dr. K said I could go ahead and do this if I want to. I'm tempted, but I want to treat this as a normal, healthy pregnancy, which means waiting until week 12 to get another ultrasound. I hope I can hold out and keep my anxiety and my "need to know" at bay.
Until then I can revel in the other confirmations of pregnancy that things are progressing normally: the morning/afternoon/evening sickness, the total exhaustion, the thirst. My boobies are getting slightly bigger, but they are not sensitive yet. I think I'd be okay with it if they don't ever get tender.
I'm not trying to plug for this T.V. I just LOVE this song and the beautiful cinematography of the bouncy balls.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Fun and Games
Rainbow Bridge
Ryan and I have been doing a fair amount of sneaking out of town this summer. A few weeks ago, we went on the sly to a mini Darton Family reunion in Lake Powell, followed by a mini Merkley Family reunion in Durango, CO. It was 11 days of awesome.
Sitting in a stall at Denny's the morning we arrived at Lake Powell, I was amazed I had managed to do it again. My body was producing clear and stretchy fertility mucous. The lighting wasn't the greatest, but I was pretty certain it was the real deal.
"Ryan, this might be hard to do without everyone knowing what is going on, but we need to make time for some baby making while we are here."
"Really? It's milky?...Okay. Can we wait until tonight after everyone goes to bed?"
"Boy, it sure took you two a long time to change into your swimsuits." snicker, snicker
I tried to hide what was going on, but I gave up after 1 day. It was so much easier to let everyone in on what we were up to and have their support. Besides, I'm a terrible liar. Especially when my mother-in-law and the rest of the family asked very direct questions.
Stephany
Ryan catching some air
Jo, Kate, and MJ with dresses I made for the Darton girls (Raine was sleeping and Fisher doesn't wear dresses). I can't believe I didn't take a family photo of everyone! Tsk, tsk.
We spent the next 11 days water skiing, wake boarding, swimming, lounging, biking, hiking, fishing, playing, riding the train, and gorging on food with both of our families. Full of nieces and nephews and stress free.
On the way to Silverton, CO
Richard, Marshawn, Mom, Dan, Annecy, Ryan, me, Jonas, and John. Where was Erin and Dave? Sophie, Jed and Truman were in school. :(
2 weeks after the clear, stretchy mucous I expected to have my period. Nothing. Was. Happening.
AARRGGHH!
On our way to go road biking I had a melt down.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY CAN'T MY BODY BE NORMAL? PERHAPS THE TINIEST BIT PREDICTABLE? I JUST WANT A BABY!
I was bawling. Seriously. I got so excited about that clear mucous. I thought that maybe a pattern was starting so we could actually make some progress on this baby business. I was wrong. My body is such a jerk.
"Oh....haha...this is going to be so funny...here have a cycle. But only one! heehee. You haven't had a natural one in 12 years...isn't that funny? Nope, not this month! What? You don't like playing keep away? hehehe. Just because I gave you one in July, doesn't mean you can have one in August too. Hahahaha! You should have seen your face when you had that fertility mucous! HILARIOUS! Even better? When you didn't start your period. You know, you're not very cute when you cry. hahaha!"
Bitch.
I'm grateful for this bitch, because on Thursday morning in resignation I took a pregnancy test, fully expecting negative results and positive confirmation that my body is truly cruel, but instead it came back positive. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. Yep. I peed on 5 sticks in disbelief. All of them came back positive. To be fair I didn't trust the first 3 after I noticed a misspelled word on the packaging. Later that morning I had blood work to confirm that I was indeed pregnant.
I AM PREGNANT!!!!
Although I am grateful, my body can still be a bitch. That very night I started spotting and had some mild cramping.
I flipped out.
NO NO NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NO!
Sobbing, I called my Fertility MD, Naturopathic MD, acupuncturist, mom, sister, brother, best friend. Dr. K and Dr. W agreed that taking progesterone to help keep the baby was a good idea even though my blood work earlier that day "looked good", but it wouldn't ultimately prevent a miscarriage if that is what my body wanted to do. I had the opportunity to go in yesterday to have more labs done, but I decided not to send my mind into a tailspin.
Last time my numbers weren't increasing how Dr. K wanted them to and said the pregnancy was abnormal. Following his advice, the pregnancy was terminated. Since then, I have tortured myself about that decision after finding a website filled with stories about women in similar or IDENTICAL situations that decided to trust their intuition and bodies and then went on to have healthy babies. I don't want to go through that again.
We said a heartfelt prayer.
PEACE.
Praise the Lord and the Chinese!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Dog Days of Summer
Last month was dry. No clear mucous. No bleeding. Just the usual. Ugh! The guessing game all over again.
Was July a rare event?
Did we miss some cosmic alignment?
Wait, J, don't think this way.
At least something happened or is happening right?
It WAS different.
But, WHY was it different?
Was it some residual effect of fertility treatments and OHSS?
Why can't things be easy?
Everyone and their dog is pregnant around me...
ARRRGH!
It has been hard hearing about others good news. Seeing pregnant bellies get rounder as due dates get closer. Especially if the due dates were close to when I had been due. I am truly excited for all of my pregnant friends, but it doesn't mean I don't feel a sense of loss...a void that is just waiting to be filled. I feel I deserve the same. I want my Christmas baby.
Is it time to jump back on the fertility roller coaster? It's only been 4 months. Gillian told me not to expect any results for at least 9! That feel like forever.
PATIENCE!
I've been making progress and need to give my body some time to adjust to everything. I've been making a lot of changes and doing a lot of work.
*Acupuncture every week, sometimes twice. Luckily my insurance covers acupuncture with a co-pay.
*Powdered Traditional Chinese Medicine (TMC) herbs 3 times a day. *shiver* They are nasty and make me gag most of the time. Gillian changed the original formula (think flying squirrel feces) since I had a cycle. I am now on a bi-phasic formula...a progesterone formula followed by an estrogen formula
*Read Tao of Fertility and follow many of the recommendations. Ryan and I love this book. The best way to describe it is that it is gentle, compassionate even. It is not overwhelming and it inspires.
*Multiple supplements prescribed by Dr. Woodyard (formerly Dr. Christensen) that help with a mineral deficiency (potassium), lack of energy, headaches, digestion, and hormones.
*Adhere to a specialized diet based on a blood sample.
*Gentle exercise. I still get my heart rate up (road biking), I just make sure it isn't jarring (running).
In July, I sent Dr. W a small blood sample (the size of nickle) on a piece of of paper. She ran some sort of tests on it and determined what food intolerance's I have. Now, this is NOT the same as food allergies. Basically, my body uses too much energy to process certain foods and in effort have enough energy to process those foods for nutrients it robs different organs of that energy...namely, my ovaries. Food intolerance's are different for everyone...my diet restrictions may not be beneficial for anyone else. This also means if I slip up or allow myself a cheat day (Fridays) I don't get sick...I just punch myself in the ovaries a little bit. For the most part I've been really good about the diet and I am about 90-95% compliant. That is pretty damn good once you see what my restrictions are!
ABSOLUTELY NO DAIRY....WHAT??? That is my favorite food group! I live off of dairy. Yogurt, cereal, cheese, cottage cheese...it's my "go to" food. This means anything that CONTAINS dairy too. No cake, pastries, non-dairy creamer (yes, this has a dairy derivative in it), and most chocolate! Luckily Almond, Rice, Coconut, and Soy milk are great substitutes. I'm partial to Almond. I've found an almond yogurt (Amande- beware the photoshop is really bad) that is fruit juice sweetened, and an incredible coconut milk ice cream (So Delicious and Coconut Bliss) that don't use cane/refined sugars.
NO FRUIT WITH SUGAR COMBINATIONS...HUH??? What does that mean??? I can have fruit and I can have sugar, but I CAN'T have them together. They need to be consumed at least 4 hours apart. No homemade jam. No pie. No fruit flavored candy. No Jamba Juice. No soda(cola has essential fruit oils). It will boggle your mind how many foods have fruit and sugar together! Instead, I can have honey, maple syrup, maple sugar, agave, brown rice syrup and coconut nectar with fruit. It takes a little bit more money and a lot more time, but there are definitely options out there.
NO EGG WITH GRAINS COMBINATIONS??? Again, they have to be consumed at least 4 hours apart. Holy hell. Scratch pastries, cakes, cookies, breakfast burritos, restaurant omelets, and certain breads off the list. I could make you crazy listing everything that has eggs or has something derived from eggs in it.
I has been a challenge, but I'm proud of how compliant I've been. I don't get too nit picky about milk and egg derivatives. I just pay attention to the most obvious. I've actually been surprised by how many decent and delicious options DO exist (thank you Whole Foods). I probably consume less calories because I am now sans dairy, but I don't eat less food. I've started to loose my pouch that has been impossible to get rid of, and I seem to have fewer mood swings (per Ryan) and more sustained energy.
Following this regimen has kept me pretty busy. Hopefully it will set the stage for something GRAND.
Was July a rare event?
Did we miss some cosmic alignment?
Wait, J, don't think this way.
At least something happened or is happening right?
It WAS different.
But, WHY was it different?
Was it some residual effect of fertility treatments and OHSS?
Why can't things be easy?
Everyone and their dog is pregnant around me...
ARRRGH!
It has been hard hearing about others good news. Seeing pregnant bellies get rounder as due dates get closer. Especially if the due dates were close to when I had been due. I am truly excited for all of my pregnant friends, but it doesn't mean I don't feel a sense of loss...a void that is just waiting to be filled. I feel I deserve the same. I want my Christmas baby.
Is it time to jump back on the fertility roller coaster? It's only been 4 months. Gillian told me not to expect any results for at least 9! That feel like forever.
PATIENCE!
I've been making progress and need to give my body some time to adjust to everything. I've been making a lot of changes and doing a lot of work.
*Acupuncture every week, sometimes twice. Luckily my insurance covers acupuncture with a co-pay.
*Powdered Traditional Chinese Medicine (TMC) herbs 3 times a day. *shiver* They are nasty and make me gag most of the time. Gillian changed the original formula (think flying squirrel feces) since I had a cycle. I am now on a bi-phasic formula...a progesterone formula followed by an estrogen formula
*Read Tao of Fertility and follow many of the recommendations. Ryan and I love this book. The best way to describe it is that it is gentle, compassionate even. It is not overwhelming and it inspires.
*Multiple supplements prescribed by Dr. Woodyard (formerly Dr. Christensen) that help with a mineral deficiency (potassium), lack of energy, headaches, digestion, and hormones.
*Adhere to a specialized diet based on a blood sample.
*Gentle exercise. I still get my heart rate up (road biking), I just make sure it isn't jarring (running).
In July, I sent Dr. W a small blood sample (the size of nickle) on a piece of of paper. She ran some sort of tests on it and determined what food intolerance's I have. Now, this is NOT the same as food allergies. Basically, my body uses too much energy to process certain foods and in effort have enough energy to process those foods for nutrients it robs different organs of that energy...namely, my ovaries. Food intolerance's are different for everyone...my diet restrictions may not be beneficial for anyone else. This also means if I slip up or allow myself a cheat day (Fridays) I don't get sick...I just punch myself in the ovaries a little bit. For the most part I've been really good about the diet and I am about 90-95% compliant. That is pretty damn good once you see what my restrictions are!
ABSOLUTELY NO DAIRY....WHAT??? That is my favorite food group! I live off of dairy. Yogurt, cereal, cheese, cottage cheese...it's my "go to" food. This means anything that CONTAINS dairy too. No cake, pastries, non-dairy creamer (yes, this has a dairy derivative in it), and most chocolate! Luckily Almond, Rice, Coconut, and Soy milk are great substitutes. I'm partial to Almond. I've found an almond yogurt (Amande- beware the photoshop is really bad) that is fruit juice sweetened, and an incredible coconut milk ice cream (So Delicious and Coconut Bliss) that don't use cane/refined sugars.
NO FRUIT WITH SUGAR COMBINATIONS...HUH??? What does that mean??? I can have fruit and I can have sugar, but I CAN'T have them together. They need to be consumed at least 4 hours apart. No homemade jam. No pie. No fruit flavored candy. No Jamba Juice. No soda(cola has essential fruit oils). It will boggle your mind how many foods have fruit and sugar together! Instead, I can have honey, maple syrup, maple sugar, agave, brown rice syrup and coconut nectar with fruit. It takes a little bit more money and a lot more time, but there are definitely options out there.
NO EGG WITH GRAINS COMBINATIONS??? Again, they have to be consumed at least 4 hours apart. Holy hell. Scratch pastries, cakes, cookies, breakfast burritos, restaurant omelets, and certain breads off the list. I could make you crazy listing everything that has eggs or has something derived from eggs in it.
I has been a challenge, but I'm proud of how compliant I've been. I don't get too nit picky about milk and egg derivatives. I just pay attention to the most obvious. I've actually been surprised by how many decent and delicious options DO exist (thank you Whole Foods). I probably consume less calories because I am now sans dairy, but I don't eat less food. I've started to loose my pouch that has been impossible to get rid of, and I seem to have fewer mood swings (per Ryan) and more sustained energy.
Following this regimen has kept me pretty busy. Hopefully it will set the stage for something GRAND.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Keep Your Hands & Feet Inside The Ride at All Times
I'm taking a break from the fertility roller coaster for a little while. In the meantime I've been trying to process everything that happened and work on getting to a better place mentally, spiritually and physically.
I found a website that I wish I hadn't found...or had found before my miscarriage. I've made myself sick over it, questioning my decisions, my doctor's decisions, blaming myself, blaming him, wondering if Dr. K cared enough or if I was just one of many. Was it a misdiagnosed miscarriage? Did I miscarry a potentially viable embryo? I've read through enough stories to make myself crazy. There are several that are nearly identical to my experience and ended in a healthy baby. I'm convinced I was too hasty, and it was too early to make a such decision. I am angry with myself that I didn't research more before trusting my doctor so completely. I make excuses that it is because of my profession...that I am accustomed to trusting doctor's in their field of expertise...that as a nurse, I am used to following doctor's orders. But in reality I CONSTANTLY question doctor's decisions, making sure they are necessary and in the best interest of my patients.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
Why didn't I make sure things were in MY best interest? I am the patient!
Ryan tries to comfort me, and reminds me that WE made decisions based on the knowledge and information that we had at the time...that I can't dwell on this because we don't know and we can't change it now.
BUT I WANT TO CHANGE IT! I'VE CHANGED MY MIND! I WANT TO MISCARRY NATURALLY! I DON'T CARE IF IT IS MORE TRAUMATIZING OR PAINFUL...AT LEAST I WILL KNOW IT WAS TRULY ABNORMAL!
I'm devastated. So many new 'what ifs', so much new heart ache. I can't help from thinking about where I would be in pregnancy right now.
People try to offer hope after hearing about the miscarriage, "Well, at least you know you can get pregnant now right?"
Maybe so, but will I be able to stay pregnant? It took 4 IUI tries with multiple eggs each time to achieve pregnancy...an assumed (I made an ass out of myself) abnormal pregnancy...will it take that long again? Will we face another miscarriage? Insurance will only cover 2 more rounds. After that, it is up to us and money doesn't grow on trees.
I'm reevaluating everything. I plan on interviewing other fertility specialists. Sorry, Dr. K, but I need to know what others would have done in the same situation. I need to have some questions answered. I need to see what my options are. Maybe find someone that has a more comprehensive approach...a more holistic approach. Maybe find someone that I feel connects with me better and is interested in working in conjunction with Eastern Medicine practices.
Usually they wait for you to have 3 miscarriages before they do more rigorous testing, but I don't want to wait that long. I want to find out now, in case we run out of coverage before I get pregnant again. I want to make the next round as successful as possible. If that means getting these tests done, so be it.
I've been going the the Chiropractor and Acupuncturist for the past few weeks. I have a theory that things will work better if my body is feeling better. I'm finally addressing my chronic headaches/migraines (I am currently getting them every other day), back/neck pain, my teeth clenching, and getting my Qi flowing properly. I think I have a stress/pain/pain/stress cycle that is affecting my fertility by releasing stress hormones and inflammatory agents. Maybe by reducing these, it will improve my odds.
My Acupuncturist says I won't start seeing results for 9 months. I don't know if I can wait that long. I might get back on the fertility roller coaster. She is working on getting me to have a cycle before she addresses the PCOS and does the fertility treatments. Treat the underlying problem, not just the symptoms. I agree with this approach. You might say it is a grassroots way of doing things. She also put me on a herbal formula that includes Flying Squirrel feces. Yep you read that right...Flying Squirrel feces. Call me poo-breath if you want.
My back pain is much better, but we are still working on the headaches. My dentist told me to get a mouth guard for sleeping. Hopefully it will help with the clenching.
I've also been in contact with my childhood friend Melissa Christensen, who happens to be a Naturopathic Doctor specializing in fertility, pediatrics and women's health. She has offered to help manage my care in conjunction with my current specialists. SCORE!
Ryan is convinced that we won't even need western medicine fertility treatments to get pregnant. He is confident that Eastern medicine will do the trick. If anything it will only help.
I found a website that I wish I hadn't found...or had found before my miscarriage. I've made myself sick over it, questioning my decisions, my doctor's decisions, blaming myself, blaming him, wondering if Dr. K cared enough or if I was just one of many. Was it a misdiagnosed miscarriage? Did I miscarry a potentially viable embryo? I've read through enough stories to make myself crazy. There are several that are nearly identical to my experience and ended in a healthy baby. I'm convinced I was too hasty, and it was too early to make a such decision. I am angry with myself that I didn't research more before trusting my doctor so completely. I make excuses that it is because of my profession...that I am accustomed to trusting doctor's in their field of expertise...that as a nurse, I am used to following doctor's orders. But in reality I CONSTANTLY question doctor's decisions, making sure they are necessary and in the best interest of my patients.
WHAT ABOUT ME?
Why didn't I make sure things were in MY best interest? I am the patient!
Ryan tries to comfort me, and reminds me that WE made decisions based on the knowledge and information that we had at the time...that I can't dwell on this because we don't know and we can't change it now.
BUT I WANT TO CHANGE IT! I'VE CHANGED MY MIND! I WANT TO MISCARRY NATURALLY! I DON'T CARE IF IT IS MORE TRAUMATIZING OR PAINFUL...AT LEAST I WILL KNOW IT WAS TRULY ABNORMAL!
I'm devastated. So many new 'what ifs', so much new heart ache. I can't help from thinking about where I would be in pregnancy right now.
People try to offer hope after hearing about the miscarriage, "Well, at least you know you can get pregnant now right?"
Maybe so, but will I be able to stay pregnant? It took 4 IUI tries with multiple eggs each time to achieve pregnancy...an assumed (I made an ass out of myself) abnormal pregnancy...will it take that long again? Will we face another miscarriage? Insurance will only cover 2 more rounds. After that, it is up to us and money doesn't grow on trees.
I'm reevaluating everything. I plan on interviewing other fertility specialists. Sorry, Dr. K, but I need to know what others would have done in the same situation. I need to have some questions answered. I need to see what my options are. Maybe find someone that has a more comprehensive approach...a more holistic approach. Maybe find someone that I feel connects with me better and is interested in working in conjunction with Eastern Medicine practices.
Usually they wait for you to have 3 miscarriages before they do more rigorous testing, but I don't want to wait that long. I want to find out now, in case we run out of coverage before I get pregnant again. I want to make the next round as successful as possible. If that means getting these tests done, so be it.
I've been going the the Chiropractor and Acupuncturist for the past few weeks. I have a theory that things will work better if my body is feeling better. I'm finally addressing my chronic headaches/migraines (I am currently getting them every other day), back/neck pain, my teeth clenching, and getting my Qi flowing properly. I think I have a stress/pain/pain/stress cycle that is affecting my fertility by releasing stress hormones and inflammatory agents. Maybe by reducing these, it will improve my odds.
My Acupuncturist says I won't start seeing results for 9 months. I don't know if I can wait that long. I might get back on the fertility roller coaster. She is working on getting me to have a cycle before she addresses the PCOS and does the fertility treatments. Treat the underlying problem, not just the symptoms. I agree with this approach. You might say it is a grassroots way of doing things. She also put me on a herbal formula that includes Flying Squirrel feces. Yep you read that right...Flying Squirrel feces. Call me poo-breath if you want.
My back pain is much better, but we are still working on the headaches. My dentist told me to get a mouth guard for sleeping. Hopefully it will help with the clenching.
I've also been in contact with my childhood friend Melissa Christensen, who happens to be a Naturopathic Doctor specializing in fertility, pediatrics and women's health. She has offered to help manage my care in conjunction with my current specialists. SCORE!
Ryan is convinced that we won't even need western medicine fertility treatments to get pregnant. He is confident that Eastern medicine will do the trick. If anything it will only help.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
You're a Poem of Mystery
The last 6 weeks have been rough for me. This last round of fertility treatments has done a huge number on my body. A little recap...
My follicles were a little sluggish responding to the medication, growing slowly and requiring larger doses. It seemed that there wasn't a follicle that wanted to take the lead, so we just kept plugging along and increasing the dose or the number of days I took a certain dose. Till the bitter end, not one claimed the leadership role. Finally I had 3 that were large (mature) enough to release an egg, the problem was that I had no less than 6 and possibly 9 others that were borderline mature and could possibly ovulate as well. Dr. K reiterated the risk of having multiples, but we again hedged our bets since we've faced that risk before and come up empty handed. We decided to go for it and did the insemination.
That weekend I went with a group of girls to San Diego where we spent our days relaxing and being lazy. It was refreshing and a little alien to not have anything to do. However I was feeling a little self conscious next to these beautiful twiggy girls since I was noticeably bloated. I didn't think too much of it and it seemed to go away once I got back to L.A.
The following weekend was Ragnar. Ryan and I had been training (not too intensely) for this 200 mile relay race for the past several months. We were excited and admittedly nervous. Neither of us had ever done a race before, but we heard it is a lot of fun and less about running than it is about the experience. We borrowed vans from Toy Bombs and Gardner and decked them out in true Rompompachop (our team name) style. Everything was green light go...except for my belly. I was bloated again! It was even worse this time!
My first leg I prepared by taking popping 800mg of Ibuprofen before my run to muscle through the pain and avoid any headaches that I'm notorious for. Things went fairly well, but something definitely had to be done about my gas because Gas-X wasn't working. At least that's what I thought was causing the bloating. Maybe I was constipated and the gas couldn't get through the road block.
Before my next leg, we stopped by the store and bought some Ex-Lax, and suppositories. I would flush it out and be good to go! The Ex-Lax worked like a charm and I felt 75% better. I was able to rest comfortably before our next leg. I spoke too soon! By the time it was my turn to run, I was bloated again! Good thing it was a shorter leg. I popped another 600mg Ibupofen and was on my way.
Next solution...the dreaded suppository. It worked to say the least and I felt a bit better, but not was well as after the Ex-Lax. There is no possible way that anything was blocking gas from getting out now, but I was STILL bloated! I was so bloated that I was short of breath and looked more and more square. Although painful, I popped another 400mg Ibuprofen and suffered through my last leg to the end without adding too much to my anticipated time.
We finished the race behind schedule, but with high spirits. It was a lot of fun and would do it again next year...as long as I'm not bloated.
As it turns out it wasn't gas. Remember OHSS? Yep. This time it was for real. Yeah, last time I was pretty much a wimp. This time it was the real deal. I kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. I called Dr. K. at 1:30am because it was so painful I couldn't sleep and I was having a hard time breathing. He scheduled an ultrasound the next morning and it confirmed that it was indeed OHSS and my ovaries were 5"x7"....or the size of oranges. They were so large that they were pressing on my innards and diaphragm and making it hard for me to breathe. Sure breathing was a concern, but a bigger concern was making sure my ovaries didn't twist on themselves and cut off blood circulation, essentially killing the ovary. I also had to carefully monitor my fluid balance. When ovaries are that large they get "leaky" and leak fluid into the abdomen (ascites) which is very painful and can cause electrolyte imbalances that need to be corrected in the hospital. If I collected too much fluid too quickly in my abdomen they would have to aspirate some of the fluid out with a needle....Yikes! At this point Dr. K told me to take it easy and limit my physical activity and avoid Ibuprofen. Wait. WHAT?! I just ran a race! I told him that we had just finished a race not more than 36 hours earlier and I was popping ibuprofen like it was candy and his facial expression was the equivalent of him shitting his pants. The average person wouldn't pick up on it because Doctors are masters at masking emotion (it's part of the job), but being a nurse I have developed a keen awareness to subtle twitches and stiffness that betrays the calm they portray. I knew it was pretty serious by his response.
Apparently if you are attempting to become or already are pregnant you should stay clear of Ibuprofen. I did not know this...and I'm a nurse! What the hell? Is this common knowledge? I asked around the unit at work, and not a single person knew this...unless they had recently been pregnant and only because their OB/GYN gave them a list of meds to stay away from. Geez it would have been nice to know BEFORE hand that Ibuprofen is a no no! Before anyone gets on their high horse about how I should have known better or looked it up in Drug Handbook...I'm sorry I don't have time to look up every medication, and I thought my MD would for sure give me a list of medications to avoid, especially since I've asked before if there was anything I should stay away from.
As far as the swelling was concerned, Dr. K could only recommend Tylenol and heat packs. If the pregnancy test was negative they could give me a medication for it to go down more quickly, but if I ended up pregnant then I was looking forward to having a swollen belly for weeks to months.
No working for me for a couple of weeks. Good thing it was slow at work and I kept getting called off.
I could hardly breathe, gained 10 lbs of water weight, was in a lot of pain and looked 6 months pregnant. This better be worth it!
That was the first 2 weeks....
My follicles were a little sluggish responding to the medication, growing slowly and requiring larger doses. It seemed that there wasn't a follicle that wanted to take the lead, so we just kept plugging along and increasing the dose or the number of days I took a certain dose. Till the bitter end, not one claimed the leadership role. Finally I had 3 that were large (mature) enough to release an egg, the problem was that I had no less than 6 and possibly 9 others that were borderline mature and could possibly ovulate as well. Dr. K reiterated the risk of having multiples, but we again hedged our bets since we've faced that risk before and come up empty handed. We decided to go for it and did the insemination.
That weekend I went with a group of girls to San Diego where we spent our days relaxing and being lazy. It was refreshing and a little alien to not have anything to do. However I was feeling a little self conscious next to these beautiful twiggy girls since I was noticeably bloated. I didn't think too much of it and it seemed to go away once I got back to L.A.
The following weekend was Ragnar. Ryan and I had been training (not too intensely) for this 200 mile relay race for the past several months. We were excited and admittedly nervous. Neither of us had ever done a race before, but we heard it is a lot of fun and less about running than it is about the experience. We borrowed vans from Toy Bombs and Gardner and decked them out in true Rompompachop (our team name) style. Everything was green light go...except for my belly. I was bloated again! It was even worse this time!My first leg I prepared by taking popping 800mg of Ibuprofen before my run to muscle through the pain and avoid any headaches that I'm notorious for. Things went fairly well, but something definitely had to be done about my gas because Gas-X wasn't working. At least that's what I thought was causing the bloating. Maybe I was constipated and the gas couldn't get through the road block.
Before my next leg, we stopped by the store and bought some Ex-Lax, and suppositories. I would flush it out and be good to go! The Ex-Lax worked like a charm and I felt 75% better. I was able to rest comfortably before our next leg. I spoke too soon! By the time it was my turn to run, I was bloated again! Good thing it was a shorter leg. I popped another 600mg Ibupofen and was on my way.
Next solution...the dreaded suppository. It worked to say the least and I felt a bit better, but not was well as after the Ex-Lax. There is no possible way that anything was blocking gas from getting out now, but I was STILL bloated! I was so bloated that I was short of breath and looked more and more square. Although painful, I popped another 400mg Ibuprofen and suffered through my last leg to the end without adding too much to my anticipated time.
We finished the race behind schedule, but with high spirits. It was a lot of fun and would do it again next year...as long as I'm not bloated.
As it turns out it wasn't gas. Remember OHSS? Yep. This time it was for real. Yeah, last time I was pretty much a wimp. This time it was the real deal. I kept getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger. I called Dr. K. at 1:30am because it was so painful I couldn't sleep and I was having a hard time breathing. He scheduled an ultrasound the next morning and it confirmed that it was indeed OHSS and my ovaries were 5"x7"....or the size of oranges. They were so large that they were pressing on my innards and diaphragm and making it hard for me to breathe. Sure breathing was a concern, but a bigger concern was making sure my ovaries didn't twist on themselves and cut off blood circulation, essentially killing the ovary. I also had to carefully monitor my fluid balance. When ovaries are that large they get "leaky" and leak fluid into the abdomen (ascites) which is very painful and can cause electrolyte imbalances that need to be corrected in the hospital. If I collected too much fluid too quickly in my abdomen they would have to aspirate some of the fluid out with a needle....Yikes! At this point Dr. K told me to take it easy and limit my physical activity and avoid Ibuprofen. Wait. WHAT?! I just ran a race! I told him that we had just finished a race not more than 36 hours earlier and I was popping ibuprofen like it was candy and his facial expression was the equivalent of him shitting his pants. The average person wouldn't pick up on it because Doctors are masters at masking emotion (it's part of the job), but being a nurse I have developed a keen awareness to subtle twitches and stiffness that betrays the calm they portray. I knew it was pretty serious by his response.
Apparently if you are attempting to become or already are pregnant you should stay clear of Ibuprofen. I did not know this...and I'm a nurse! What the hell? Is this common knowledge? I asked around the unit at work, and not a single person knew this...unless they had recently been pregnant and only because their OB/GYN gave them a list of meds to stay away from. Geez it would have been nice to know BEFORE hand that Ibuprofen is a no no! Before anyone gets on their high horse about how I should have known better or looked it up in Drug Handbook...I'm sorry I don't have time to look up every medication, and I thought my MD would for sure give me a list of medications to avoid, especially since I've asked before if there was anything I should stay away from.
As far as the swelling was concerned, Dr. K could only recommend Tylenol and heat packs. If the pregnancy test was negative they could give me a medication for it to go down more quickly, but if I ended up pregnant then I was looking forward to having a swollen belly for weeks to months.
No working for me for a couple of weeks. Good thing it was slow at work and I kept getting called off.
I could hardly breathe, gained 10 lbs of water weight, was in a lot of pain and looked 6 months pregnant. This better be worth it!
That was the first 2 weeks....
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Maiden Voyage...
Funny, I never thought I would start a blog...but here I am. Why? Honestly...it's because I'm not pleased with iphoto. Last November while I was busy planning my wedding, my hard drive crashed and I lost everything. I took my critically ill PowerBook in to MacDocs, but they were unable to save it. A transplant took place and my little laptop came home with a new hard drive. I thought everything was great (minus the lost photos I didn't manage to save to my external hard drive before it crashed), but I was wrong. When you get a new hard drive you lose EVERYTHING. All of my shortcuts, passwords, and preferences I've painstakenly saved over the last 3 years. GONE! So what does this have to do with iphoto? Well...the new version of iphoto doesn't let you edit the size of the photo to make it easy to send in an email using gmail, hotmail or any other sort of mail that is not mac mail. I don't use mac mail so I've been looking for graphic converters to allow me to edit my pictures so I can send them. I'm sure there is some tech savvy reader that could show me how to fix this, but I don't have the time....er...the patience to figure it out on my own. iphoto isn't the only reason I started a blog. I suppose it also has a lot to do with convenience. I am slowly learning to adapt to having in-laws. I don't have the best track record of keeping my own family informed, so I have been easily overwhelmed by the numerous questions about being newlyweds, my work, our plans to move to L.A., Ryan's music career, etc. The wife (Bekah) of one of Ryan's band mates (Cole) simply told me after I was lamenting having to repeat myself 20 times in one day, that a blog would save me a lot of the trouble. Today, after failing to edit my wedding photos to send to my friend Stephanie via email, I gave in and decided to enter the wonderful world of BLOG. The previously mentioned is a well seasoned blogger and although she has encouraged me to start my own, I am a little nervous about what to put out for the masses. But, I would hate to clog someones email with enormous photos, and I know other family members and friends might like to see the photo's as well. Thank you Stephanie for requesting photo's...and my inability to narrow it down to a few to send via email.
A blog is born.
A blog is born.
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